It was day two in their new home. 10-year-old Jake sat in the middle of his unpacked boxes, arms crossed and glaring at his parents. “This is all your fault!” he shouted, eyes brimming with frustration. “I’m never going to like it here.”
Mom sighed, glancing at Dad, who was carefully hanging a picture on the wall. They knew this transition wasn’t going to be easy, but hearing Jake’s raw emotions made it all the more difficult.
“Hey, buddy,” Mom said gently, sitting down next to him on the floor. “I know this is really hard for you. It’s hard for all of us. But we’re going to figure this out together.”
Jake wasn’t convinced. “All my friends are back home. I’m never making new ones here!”
Dad put down the hammer and walked over. “It might take some time, but I’m sure you’ll meet a lot of awesome people here.”
Jake buried his face in his arms. “Yeah, right.”
Does your child struggle to adjust to new or difficult situations? HabitCoach can help!
Give Them Time
Moving to a new town is a major life change, and for children, this transition can feel overwhelming. It’s natural for them to be anxious, upset, or even resentful for the first few months. As parents, it's important to set realistic expectations for their adjustment process.
Remember, it’s completely normal if they aren't excited about the move immediately. Your child may need time to work through their feelings, and that's okay. For children who struggle with executive dysfunction, this process may take even longer due to the added challenges of adjusting to new routines and environments.
Executive Dysfunction and Moving
Moving can be especially tough for children with executive dysfunction which is commonly associated with conditions like ADHD or autism. Adjusting to new routines, managing their personal belongings in a new home, and planning their day-to-day at the same time can be a real challenge. It’s important to provide structure and support during this time.
Managing Emotions in Unfamiliar Situations
A move represents not just a change in environment but also a loss of the familiar. Children are suddenly confronted with the unknown, from new schools and classmates to unfamiliar neighbors and streets. This shift can trigger feelings of anxiety, sadness, or even fear. They may mourn the loss of their old friends, community, and routines, which can present as emotional outbursts or withdrawal.
Children with executive dysfunction may have an even harder time managing their emotions in these unfamiliar situations. They can become overwhelmed by the intensity of their feelings, leading to meltdowns, frustration, or avoidance. It’s important to validate their emotions and let them know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or scared. Reassure them that you’re there to support them as they navigate this big change.
Creating small moments of familiarity—like keeping bedtime routines the same or setting up a familiar space in the new house—can offer a sense of security in the midst of the unfamiliar. Encourage your child to talk about what they miss from their old home while gently reminding them of the exciting possibilities that come with the new town.
Challenges with Starting and Sustaining Tasks
Whether it’s making new friends, exploring the neighborhood, or learning the ropes at a new school, the initial steps can feel daunting. As a result, some children may avoid these tasks altogether, preferring the comfort of isolation over the anxiety of trying something new.
Encourage your child to take small steps – maybe checking out the ice cream shop down the road as a family or going for a walk around the neighborhood.
Adapting to New Expectations and Social Situations
Adjusting to new environments often comes with learning new social expectations and norms. Your child may have to figure out how to interact with new teachers, classmates, or neighbors, and for those with executive dysfunction, this can be particularly challenging. To help them navigate this, practice role-playing new social situations at home. Offer gentle guidance on how to introduce themselves to new friends or what to expect in different social settings. This can build their confidence and give them a sense of control over unfamiliar situations.
Remembering New Information
Finally, don’t be surprised if your child has difficulty remembering new information like directions, school schedules, or names. This is a common challenge when adjusting to a new environment. The sheer amount of new information they’re processing can feel overwhelming, especially for children with executive dysfunction.
To help with this, consider using tools like visual aids, maps, or sticky notes to reinforce important details. Review names, schedules, and directions with your child regularly, and be patient as they navigate this learning curve.
Adjusting to a new town is a process that takes time. An Executive Function coach can help your child adjust to big life changes such as moving to a new place. Book a consultation with Habit Coach to learn more!
