Tips for Starting Middle School
Your child is about to start middle school—what a milestone! As a parent, you may be excited for them. However, you notice that your child seems more worried than excited, and you're not sure why.
As parents, our middle school memories may seem far away, but if you think about it, going to middle school probably seemed like the biggest transition you’ve ever experienced at that point in your life. You are leaving the cozy confines of an elementary school classroom with one caring teacher for as many as 6 or 7 teachers a day, constant classroom changes, new kids, and more homework. If your child has ADHD or executive function challenges, they are probably worried about losing things, keeping up with their homework, and generally dealing with a more challenging environment.
So yes - it’s normal for your kids to be worried. Our job is to help prepare our kids before the first day of school to alleviate some of that anxiety.
There are plenty of ways to go about this.
First, talk to your child about what they are feeling. Here are some questions you can start with.
Are you worried about being in a new environment? Having to transition from class to class? What about going to a bigger school, or maybe getting lost on your first day?
Are you worried about classes being harder? How do they feel about extracurricular activities and clubs?
How do you feel about having multiple teachers? New classmates? Are you worried about making friends, or experiencing changes in their existing friendships?
Are you concerned about changes in routine? Are you worried about having to wake up earlier, having a later dismissal time, and/or having to take the bus?
Are you worried about being accepted or bullied? Are you worried about your current wardrobe? How to act to fit in?
Depending on their response to the questions, here are some things you can do to support them:
Visit the school during the summer. Help your child become familiar with the layout beforehand. Attend orientation events together and introduce yourselves to teachers and staff. Additionally, consider talking to a former student to gain insights. Ask them about their experiences in middle school, what they enjoyed, what they wish they had known earlier, and any tips they have to share. In this way, they will not feel completely lost on the first day of school, especially during class transitions.
Prepare a neat and orderly workspace before the academic year begins. Involve your child in the process by seeking their input. Together, decide on which planner, calendar, or other organizational tools you'd like to implement. This proactive approach helps your child feel more prepared for their studies.
Before school starts, encourage your child to practice good sleep hygiene. Kids tend to sleep in during the summer, and the idea of having to wake up earlier may cause a lot of anxiety. Get them acclimated to the new routine by gradually adjusting to their school schedule.
Good sleep hygiene includes several key practices – maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, establishing a relaxing bedtime routine, and creating a comfortable sleep environment. It also involves minimizing use of electronic devices late at night, caffeine, and heavy meals close to bedtime. These habits collectively contribute to better sleep quality.
Share your own experiences. Reminding them that you also went through middle school can help your child realize that they are not alone. Share your own experiences, including any challenges you faced and how you overcame them. This can provide them with a sense of connection and reassurance. Knowing that you understand what they're going through can make them feel more comfortable opening up to you.
Practice social scenarios with your child, such as introducing themselves to new classmates or joining group conversations. Emphasize the importance of being inclusive and kind to others, as well as being open to making new friends from diverse backgrounds. Role playing helps children feel more prepared in social situations.
Be empathetic and understanding of your child's emotions as they navigate the challenges of middle school. Encourage your child to share their thoughts and emotions openly with you so that you can support them. Let them know it's normal to feel nervous or uncertain about making new friends and navigating social situations. Discuss the qualities of good friends and how to recognize and respond to peer pressure. Emphasize the importance of finding genuine friends, even if it takes time, rather than trying to "fit in" at any cost.
Let them know that you are there for them! - Anxiety related to starting middle school can be compounded by various life changes, such as puberty and hormonal fluctuations, shifting family dynamics, and other health issues. It's important to consider all these factors and not just focus on the academic aspect. As parents, sometimes we just need a reminder to take a step back, ask the right questions, and be loud and clear with our support!
Make sure their support resources are in place - If they need accommodations, make sure their 504 or IEP plans are up to date (or if they have never gotten one, with meet with the school counselor to put this into place. If they need a little outside help, you may want to get a therapist or coach in place. This is where Habit Coach comes in; we help kids with executive function challenges or ADHD and are ready to help your child so they can be comfortable and successful in Middle School.
