Andres stormed through the front door, his face scrunched up like a wrinkled sock.
“Rough day, buddy?” Mom cautiously asked.
Andres threw his backpack on the floor with a huff. “I spilled ice cream on Jason’s Pokémon cards,” he muttered, eyes welling up. “His rare cards, Mom.”
“Oh no! Did you apologize?”
Andres crossed his arms and sank into the couch. “What’s the point? He’s probably never going to talk to me again.”
His mom sat next to him. “Well, did you try apologizing?”
Andres shook his head. “It was an accident! He knows I didn’t mean to!”
Mom raised an eyebrow. “If you just apologize, I’m certain—” Before she could finish her sentence, Andres slammed the door shut.
“I guess this is a conversation for later,” she whispered to herself.
Want to teach your child to be more self-aware? HabitCoach can help!
Everyone Makes Mistakes
One of the most important lessons for your child to understand is that everyone makes mistakes. This is especially true for kids with ADHD, who may be more prone to accidents, forgetfulness, or impulsive actions. However, what truly matters isn’t the mistake itself, but how we respond to it.
In fact, admitting mistakes can help regain control over a situation. It demonstrates self-awareness and allows us to let go of the burden of trying to hide our mistakes. Our ability to apologize strengthens the relationships in our personal and professional life that might have otherwise suffered.
Steps to a Sincere Apology
Self-Reflection
The first step in any apology is self-reflection. Help your child think about what happened and learn from the experience.. Encourage them to consider their actions and the impact they had on others.Acknowledge Promptly
While it is important to spend some time to cool down depending on the extent of the conflict, waiting too long can make the problem worse. Leaving things unresolved may permanently damage trust. By apologizing quickly, they show they care about the other person’s feelings and want to make things right.Be Honest
Honesty is often easier said than done. Being open about our mistakes forces us to confront qualities we may not like about ourselves or lead to consequences such as loss of trust, anger, or even the end of friendships. However, it’s important for your child to understand that being dishonest can create even more uncomfortable feelings. Ultimately, honesty can strengthen bonds and demonstrate that even the harshest truths can’t break your connection.Leave Excuses at the Door
It’s easy to fall into the trap of making excuses or justifying a mistake, especially when it feels like it wasn’t entirely their fault. However, a sincere apology focuses on taking responsibility without deflecting blame. Help your child understand that even if their ADHD contributed to the mistake, owning up to it is still important.New Perspective
Encourage your child to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. Talking to someone who understands, like a coach or a close friend, can help them gain insight into how their actions affected others. This can make the apology more meaningful.Look on the Bright Side
Owning up to mistakes takes away the opportunity for others to judge them. By apologizing, your child is taking control of the situation and showing maturity. They’re also decreasing the chance of the mistake turning into a bigger issue down the road.Focus on Their Role
When apologizing, it’s important for your child to focus on their own role in the situation. This means resisting the urge to point fingers or blame others. Even if others were involved, help your child see that taking responsibility for their own actions is what really matters.Accept Consequences
Every mistake comes with consequences. Help your child to see this as a learning opportunity rather than something to be feared. By accepting the repercussions, they can grow from the experience.Bring Solutions
Finally, encourage your child to think about how they can fix the mistake or prevent it from happening again. This shows that they’re serious about making amends and that they’re taking steps to be better. Even if the other person doesn’t accept their solution, the effort will speak volumes about their character.
The Power of an Apology
Teaching your child to apologize involves more than just saying the words. Often, we adults focus on getting our child to say “I’m sorry” without helping them understand the importance of accountability.
This is also true for parents of children who become over-apologizers. It’s important to have conversations about recognizing our role in conflicts and making amends when necessary. By guiding them through this process, you’re giving them the tools they need to feel secure in themselves and build healthy relationships.
For more information on improving executive function and helping your child navigate conflict and other challenging situations, contact us at HabitCoach!
