Agatha received a call on Monday morning from the principal. He informed her that her 12-year-old, Devon, was involved in an accident during science class.
Apparently, Devon mixed the wrong chemicals, resulting in a small explosion that startled the entire class. Driven by his impulse to finish quickly, he rushed ahead without paying attention while the teacher was explaining the lab instructions.
For Agatha, this isn't anything new. Devon often finds himself in unsafe situations due to his lack of inhibition. He is also frequently described as “rude” because of how he interrupts conversations.
While this situation seems like textbook impulsivity, it's important to remember that this trait can manifest in different ways for some kids.
Impulsivity Across Ages
Little Ones (3-5 years)
At this age, most children are naturally impulsive. After all, their brains are still new and developing. You might see your little one grab toys from others without asking, blurt out whatever comes to mind, or have trouble waiting their turn during games.
Middle Years (6-12 years)
As kids enter school age, impulsivity might show up as interrupting class lectures, having trouble waiting their turn during group discussions, or making decisions without thinking them through.
High School (13-18 years)
Teens often display impulsivity through risky behaviors. If your child is of driving age, they might be tempted to speed or try dangerous physical stunts. You also need to watch out for behaviors such as making rash decisions about relationships and engaging in impulsive spending.
Signs of Impulsivity: What to Watch For
Interrupting Conversation
Children who struggle with impulsivity may frequently cut into conversations or make inappropriate comments. For example, a younger child might point at someone and loudly say, "Why is that man bald?" While this may be said without ill intent, an undeveloped filter can cause offense or hurt others' feelings. Furthermore, impulsive individuals may cross personal boundaries without realizing it, such as invading personal space or asking overly personal questions.
Turn-Taking Troubles
Group games can be challenging for highly impulsive kids. They may struggle to wait their turn due to difficulty managing their excitement and eagerness to participate. While playing board games, they might move their piece even when it’s not their turn, which can lead to frustration for their playmates.
Risky Business
Impulsive decisions, especially involving money or safety, are common among kids with executive function (EF) challenges. For instance, your teen might spend their entire week's allowance on in-game purchases without considering essential expenses. Similarly, they might decide to take a risky shortcut on their way home from school without thinking about potential dangers or consequences. These impulsive choices are also connected to other EF difficulties, such as challenges in planning, prioritizing, and thinking ahead.
Emotional Rollercoaster
Impulsivity is often associated with increased reactivity. This means that minor triggers can provoke strong, immediate emotional responses, such as anger or anxiety. Impulsive kids may find it difficult to regulate their emotions in the heat of the moment. This lack of self-control can result in acting out on negative feelings, such as shouting, or making rash decisions such as running away.
Rule Rebels
Following rules can be a struggle, whether at home, school, or in public. For instance, despite clear "Do Not Touch" signs at a museum, your child might not resist pressing buttons or touching exhibits. It could be that their brain isn't catching up to stop the intrusive thoughts, and it's not necessarily a conscious decision to break the rules.
Instant Gratification Seekers
Another sign of impulsivity is when your child has difficulty waiting for long-term, high-value rewards and instead opts for immediate, smaller rewards. For example, given the choice between 15 minutes of iPad time after dinner or 1 hour on the weekend, your child might consistently choose the immediate option. If they have the chance to earn a larger reward, such as a new toy, by completing chores over the week, they might prefer to take a smaller, immediate reward like a treat now, even if it means missing out on the bigger prize later.
The Upside of Impulsivity
While impulsivity can be challenging, it's not all bad news. In fact, many traits associated with impulsivity can be valuable assets when channeled properly. Let's explore the positive side of impulsivity:
Quick Thinking
Impulsive children often excel at thinking on their feet and this can be beneficial in certain situations. For example, during a school debate, they might come up with brilliant rebuttals on the spot. In the case of emergency responders, impulsivity can be beneficial. It allows them to make quick decisions in high-pressure situations, enabling rapid action when immediate responses are critical for safety and problem resolution.
Spontaneity and Fun
The spontaneity associated with impulsivity can bring joy and excitement to everyday life. For instance, on a seemingly dull Saturday, your child might suddenly propose a backyard camping adventure, turning a regular weekend into a memorable family experience.
Can be creative problem-solvers
Impulsivity is often linked with creativity. The ability to think quickly and outside the box can lead to innovative solutions. For example, when faced with a broken toy, your child might immediately think of unconventional ways to fix it or repurpose it into something new. Their impulsive nature allows them to rapidly generate and act on creative ideas.
What Can You Do?
Recognizing impulsivity is the first step. If you've noticed several of these signs in your child, there are strategies you can utilize to help. Creating structure and routines can provide predictability. Teaching pause techniques, like counting to five before responding, can help your child think before acting. Positive reinforcement for self-control and modeling self-control yourself are also effective approaches.
If impulsivity is significantly impacting your child's life or posing safety risks, consider seeking professional help by consulting an executive function coach. At HabitCoach, we provide tailored strategies to help your child to manage impulsive behaviors and develop healthy inhibition.
