Lisa stood at the bottom of the stairs, hands on her hips, and called up for what felt like the tenth time. "Mia, honey, we're leaving for Grandma's in an hour. Can you please start packing your clothes?"
Upstairs, Mia was sprawled out in the middle of her bedroom, completely absorbed in a Youtube video about slime-making. "Yeah, sure, Mom!" she called back, her focus never leaving the DIY tutorial. In her mind, this was way more important than packing for Grandma's.
Lisa sighed and started up the stairs. "Mia, sweetie, did you hear me?"
Mia finally looked up from her screen, blinking in surprise. "Oh, were you talking to me?
Getting your child to pay attention can be tough, especially when competing with technology or managing the challenges of ADHD, like executive dysfunction and dopamine regulation. But don’t worry—there are plenty of strategies that can help. With the right approach, you can improve the chances that your child will listen and respond when you need them to.
Need help with your child’s attention issues? Habit Coach can help.
Strategies to Improve Your Child's Attention
1. Get Their Attention First
Before you start speaking, make sure your child knows you're talking to them. Call their name or gently tap on their shoulder to catch their attention. Whenever possible, be in the same room and establish eye contact. If your child is busy with something, give them a chance to wrap up what they are doing. You might say, "Mia, I’ll give you two minutes to watch the video. Then, we are going to pause it so we can talk."
2. Minimize Distractions
If you need their attention for a longer conversation, create a setting that’s free from distractions. Turn off the TV, put away electronic devices, and try to keep the space as calm and quiet as possible. This will help your child concentrate on what you're saying. If it’s noisy, consider moving to a quieter spot. Also, remember that visual clutter can be just as distracting as noise, so keeping the area tidy can help improve their focus.
3. Use Simple and Clear Language
When giving instructions, keep your language short and to the point. Avoid using complicated words or giving too many directions at once. Instead of saying, "Mia, I need you to pack three sets of clothes, your toothbrush, and enough socks for the weekend," try creating a checklist of items. Have her interact with the list by crossing out each item as she packs it into her luggage. Below is an example of what your checklist should look like:
3 shirts
1 pair of pants
1 pair of shorts
1 dress
3 pairs of socks
toothbrush
4. Be at Eye Level
Kneel or sit so you're at eye level with your child. This simple act makes it easier for them to focus on you and shows that you're giving them your full attention.
5. Use Visual Aids
Many children are visual learners. Using pictures, charts, or gestures can help reinforce what you're saying. For packing, you might create a simple checklist with pictures of items to pack, making it easier for your child to follow along. You could also use a whiteboard to draw out instructions or create a visual schedule for the day.
6. Check for Understanding
After giving instructions, ask your child to repeat back what you’ve said or ask them a question to confirm they understood. You might say, "Mia, can you tell me what you need to pack first?" This not only confirms that they’ve understood the instructions but also helps reinforce the information in their mind. Make sure to get your child's agreement before using this system to prevent any potential conflicts or frustration.
7. Use Positive Reinforcement
Praise your child when they listen well or follow instructions. This positive reinforcement motivates them to repeat the desired behavior. For instance, "Thank you for listening and packing your shirts, Mia! I really appreciate your help."
8. Give Them Time
Give your child time to process what you've said and respond. Don’t rush them or get frustrated if they don’t immediately jump into action. Some children need a little extra time to switch from one activity to another, and that’s perfectly okay.
9. Use a Calm Tone
Try to speak in a calm, friendly voice to keep the conversation positive and alleviate any anxiety. Even if you’re feeling a bit frustrated, keeping your tone level can help your child stay calm and focused too. Yelling or repeating yourself over and over can backfire, as it may overwhelm your child, causing them to shut down or tune you out entirely.
If your child continues to struggle with paying attention, it might be helpful to consult with a professional. At Habit Coach, we specialize in helping children who have difficulty with executive function, including focus and follow through. Our expert coaches can provide personalized strategies tailored to your child's unique needs!
