How to Get Your Child Started on Projects
Introduction
Seeing our kids struggle to get started on schoolwork and other projects is a common issue for parents. It's normal to feel worried about your child, especially when they reach an age where they are expected to do certain things independently. If your child has difficulty starting projects, it's important to know that this is not always due to a lack of motivation or "laziness" but rather challenges with certain aspects of executive function.
Fortunately, you can help your child improve these skills by understanding how their brains work and implementing strategies to support their executive functioning.
Parents can benefit from individualized coaching to address the unique struggles of supporting a child with executive function difficulties. When you’re ready to take the next step, Habit Coach is here to help.
How to Get Your Child Started on Projects
Work Through the Anxiety
Anxiety is often the primary culprit behind the struggle with getting started on projects. Your child might already be anticipating the challenges ahead, possibly catastrophizing, leading them to procrastinate. You can begin by acknowledging their feelings, saying something like, "It's understandable that it can feel overwhelming." Then, offer assistance by suggesting, "Would you like me to sit with you and go over the directions together?" This could be an effective way to ease some of the anxiety they may be experiencing.
Create a Plan
Having a plan on how to tackle the project would be very helpful for a child who has difficulty starting projects. Make sure to break down the tasks into smaller, more manageable components to provide a clear roadmap of what needs to be done. This will encourage your child to focus on one step at a time. Brainstorming is also a good place to start. The goal is to get them to start throwing out random ideas without much expectation and with little room for errors that may discourage them from getting started.
Have a Schedule
Encourage your child to set a reasonable start date and time frame for the project. For a bigger project, setting deadlines for different phases of the project instead of circling one big due date may make it less overwhelming. Encourage your child to use aids to keep them on track, such as calendar reminders, alarms, sticky notes, planners - whatever works best for them.
If possible, set a specific time for your child to work on the project. After all, consistency forms habits, and habits are easier to perform because they rely on automatic processes in the brain. Habits reduce the cognitive effort required for executive function.
Overcome Inertia
If the above strategy is overwhelming for your child, you can start simpler. Give them five to ten minutes to work on the first few action items of their project. The goal is not to finish. The only expectation is for them to get started. It is often the case that they overestimated the time required to complete the task. Once they gain that momentum, it’s easier to keep going.
Set-up a Designated Workspace
Prepare a space that is quiet, comfortable, well-lit, and free of distractions, such as the TV or gaming consoles. It should be tidy so as to decrease visual stimuli and all the materials needed should be accessible so that it is easy to find everything that your child needs. By making this space readily available, you are setting the stage and all they need to do is step into it and dive into the work.
Pre-study Ritual
You can encourage your child to incorporate a pre-project ritual to mark the transition into study and/or work. This could be something like tidying the workspace, having a quick snack, laying out materials, or doing a quick breathing or mindfulness exercise to cope with the anxiety of getting started. Rituals have a way of providing a sense of control and calm
Games and Prizes
If your child enjoys a challenge, encourage them to turn a task into a game to make it more engaging. Overcoming a challenge releases dopamine that signals pleasure. You can also offer incentives and rewards to increase motivation for starting and completing tasks.
Getting started on projects can be difficult for everyone, especially for children experiencing some level of executive dysfunction. If you are looking to get more help exploring other strategies to promote executive functioning skills in your child, don’t hesitate to reach out. We at Habit Coach are here to support!
