It was the day before the big test. Mrs. Stevens, the teacher, stood at the front of the classroom, explaining exactly what would be on it. While most of the kids scribbled down notes, Ethan was in another world. He stared out the window, daydreaming about what it would be like to be an astronaut.
"Got it, Ethan?" Mrs. Stevens asked, snapping him out of his space mission.
"Uh... sure!" Ethan replied, clueless but confident.
The next day, Ethan came home, looking puzzled. "Mom, Mrs. Stevens put totally different stuff on the test! She never said we needed to study those kinds of fractions."
His mom raised an eyebrow. This wasn’t the first time Ethan had missed important directions. In fact, she dealt with the same issue at home.
ADHD and Listening
Not being a good listener can be a sign of executive dysfunction, which is commonly associated with ADHD. Listening requires sustained attention, impulse control, and working memory – areas where individuals with ADHD often struggle.
Children with ADHD may have difficulty focusing on what is being said, get easily distracted, or impulsively interrupt, as their brains may be racing with other thoughts. Challenges in processing and retaining information make it harder to stay engaged in conversations, all of which can impact effective listening.
It should be noted, however, that for children with ADHD, one of the biggest hurdles is switching attention from one task to another. Sometimes, a simple tool like a five-minute timer can signal the transition back to focus. It’s also important to teach your child to communicate when they are ready to listen so the speaker knows they have their full attention.
Below are a few strategies that can further help your child become a better active listener.
Does your child struggle with listening and attention issues, Habit Coach is here to help.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening is being able to give the speaker your full attention. It involves listening to the content, tone, and emotion behind what’s being said and providing a response that communicates mutual understanding. Active listening can be a powerful strategy to help children who tend to get distracted by providing them with structured ways to demonstrate focus and engagement.
Strategies for Active Listening
Remove Distractions
Giving your child the chance to set aside their phones or other devices can help them establish focus and remain engaged during conversations. For example, if your child is watching a video on their iPad, it’s unrealistic to expect them to fully absorb what you’re saying. This strategy is especially helpful during family meals or when helping them study for a test.Listen to Understand, Not to Respond
In conversations, it's common for some people with ADHD to become so eager to share their own thoughts or stories that they forget to pay attention to the other person and what’s being said. Instead of actively listening, they may focus on how to steer the conversation toward their own interests. This not only disrupts the flow of communication but can also lead to misunderstandings. Active listening techniques, such as summarizing a key point of what the other person said before responding, are effective ways to demonstrate active listening.Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues
Teach your child that communication involves more than just words. Encourage them to notice the speaker’s body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. These non-verbal cues offer additional insights into what the speaker is trying to convey.Try Not to Interrupt
Remind your child to wait until the speaker has finished talking before responding. This can be challenging, especially for kids whose minds are constantly racing, but there are strategies they can use to become more mindful of this behavior.
Examples of Active Listening Techniques
Clarifying:
Ask the speaker to explain something further if you’re unsure of their meaning.
Example: “When you said the test is going to be everything from Chapters one through five, does that include the lesson on fractions?”Summarizing:
Pull together the main points of the conversation to reinforce understanding.
Example: “In short, the plan is to leave early tomorrow morning and I’m in charge of packing up my own change of clothes, beach towels, and sunscreen. Is that correct?”Paraphrasing:
"It sounds like you’re feeling stressed because you have a lot on your plate today, with all the back-to-back classes and projects you have yet to finish.”Reflecting:
Acknowledge the speaker’s emotions to show you understand how they’re feeling.
Example: “You sure look happy with the feedback you got after your presentation!”
Overcoming Barriers to Active Listening
Children with executive dysfunction often face unique barriers to active listening. These obstacles can be compounded by environmental distractions (noise and visual clutter) and psychological barriers (stress or anxiety). Help your child recognize these challenges and work with them to find solutions. For example, if noise is a constant distraction, consider using noise-canceling headphones or white noise to create a more focused environment. You can also encourage your child to advocate for themselves by asking to sit closer to the teacher if they find that helpful.
Does your child struggle with listening? Contact us at Habit Coach and let’s talk about how we can help!
