Sarah carefully arranged her stuffed animals for a tea party, still in her pajamas as the clock ticked closer to departure time. Her mom, keys in hand and exasperation on her face, called out for the tenth time, "Sarah, we have to go!" Without missing a beat, Sarah replied, "But Mom, Mr. Fluffles hasn't finished his tea yet!" Her mom sighed deeply, wondering how a teddy bear's tea party could outrank a dentist appointment.
Many parents can probably relate to this scenario. Getting children ready to leave on time should be an Olympic sport in its own category, often leading to frustration and stress for both parents and kids. This article will explore why children may struggle with getting ready to go when it’s time to go and provide strategies to help parents navigate this common issue.
Why Children Struggle with Transitions
Several factors can contribute to a child's difficulty in getting ready to leave on time:
Children who are deeply absorbed in play have difficulty shifting their attention to the task of getting ready.
They underestimate the time needed to prepare, leading to a last-minute rush.
Some children may have difficulties planning, prioritizing, and sequencing tasks efficiently, which are crucial skills for getting ready on time.
Anxiety about leaving a preferred activity (ex. computer time) for a non-preferred activity (ex. brushing teeth) can cause them to stall.
Inadequate rest can affect a child's readiness and alertness, particularly for morning departures such as leaving for school.
Strategies for parents
Create structure and anticipate needs
Establishing routines and helping children look ahead can significantly improve their readiness. Start by creating a visual schedule or checklist of tasks needed to prepare for departure. This approach can help children internalize the steps required and develop a sense of independence.
Let them fail
Allow them to experience the natural consequence of being late. For instance, if your child has difficulty getting ready when it’s time to go and ends up missing the beginning of the movie, they may learn to prioritize timeliness in the future. Use this strategy wisely with consideration to the child's age and the importance of the event.
Use timers and reminders
Studies show that visual schedules and timers can be particularly effective for children with executive function challenges, especially those with ADHD. Countdown timers can help children get a better understanding of the passage of time and prepare for transitions. You may also give them one or two heads-up before leaving which gives them time to wrap up their current activity. Offer choices for the last few minutes before departure to provide them with a sense of control.
Explain consequences
Help children understand the broader implications of being late. Discuss how tardiness can have an impact on others. For example, if a child misses the bus due to being late, the parent may have to drive them to school, which can make the parent late for work. This approach can help develop empathy and broaden their perspective.
Address anxiety through co-regulation
For children who struggle with transitions due to anxiety, co-regulation techniques can be helpful. Try deep breathing exercises together, offer physical comfort like hugs or holding their hands, or use calming sensory tools to ease the transition.
Improve time management skills
Avoid last-minute preparations by starting the getting-ready process well in advance. For early morning departures such as leaving for the airport to catch a 7am flight, begin preparations the night before at the latest. Communicate clearly about upcoming events and what will be required of them.
Practice and role-play
Set aside time to practice the getting-ready routine when there's no actual pressure to leave. Turn it into a game or challenge, timing how quickly your child can complete each step. This can help build familiarity with the process.
Celebrate successes
Acknowledge and praise your child's efforts when they manage to get ready on time. This positive reinforcement can motivate them to maintain the behavior in the future.
Remember that executive function skills develop gradually and often require intervention to be learned effectively. In fact, executive function skills, particularly those related to transitioning between activities, continue to develop throughout childhood and adolescence. By implementing these strategies consistently and adjusting them to fit your child's unique needs, you can help decrease stress around transitions.
If you find that your child continues to struggle in this area, consult with an executive function coach at Habit Coach. We can provide additional strategies and resources to help your child with executive function challenges that are affecting your day-to-day life.
