Almost all parents want their children to do chores both to contribute to the household and to learn responsibility. But many times children can't remember to do chores or do them poorly to the point that parents just find it easier to do these tasks themselves.
We should buck this instinct to do it all ourselves and remember the benefits of involving kids in housework. Not only does it, in the long run, lighten the load for you as the parent, but it also provides an opportunity for them to learn valuable life skills. Teaching children age-appropriate tasks helps them develop responsibility and independence that will serve them well into adulthood.
So you’re probably asking…
Why Is My Child Having Difficulty With Their Chores?
Children may avoid doing chores because they feel overwhelmed by the tasks or simply have no interest in doing them. Some may struggle with chores because these activities require high-level executive function skills such as taking initiative, maintaining attention, organizing, managing time, and planning and prioritizing.
Below are some strategies to make sure your child does their chores.
1. Offer Help
Being available to support your child with chores is the first step to making sure that they complete the task correctly. Initially, you would want to physically help them with part of the work, provide feedback, and make accommodations for them. For example, while the child scrubs dishes, the parent can rinse them, making the task more manageable.
2. Model How to Do the Chores
Instead of assuming laziness or lack of motivation, recognize that your child may struggle with initiating tasks, following through, managing time, and prioritizing effectively. By actively guiding them through their chores and involving them in the process, you provide them with the opportunity to learn step-by-step: where to begin, how to proceed, and how to gauge the time required.
Let's consider teaching your child how to take out the trash:
Begin by showing them where to collect trash from different parts of the house. Demonstrate how to tie the trash bag securely and carry it without spilling. Explain the importance of timing, such as taking out the trash before it overflows or starts to smell. By modeling these steps and involving them in the process, you help them understand the necessary skills of initiative, organization, and timing. With practice, they will become more adept at managing this chore effectively on their own.
3. Make a To-Do List
Making a to-do list and checking off tasks helps parents make sure that their kids are completing their assigned chores. It provides a clear visual guide of what needs to be done and allows parents to track their child's progress. By having a list, parents can set expectations and hold their children accountable for completing each task. Checking off completed items also gives the child a sense of accomplishment.
Furthermore, kids who struggle with working memory may find it difficult to stay focused on their current tasks. Using a visual reminder, like a short to-do list, can significantly reduce the mental effort needed to recall what needs to be done.
4. Have a Schedule
Establishing a schedule for chores, alongside a to-do list, helps children effectively manage their household responsibilities. For instance, you can designate Saturday mornings for vacuuming and Sunday afternoons for laundry. When these cleaning habits form a reliable routine, the work becomes more automatic. This requires less cognitive effort, making it easier for your child to complete tasks without constant reminders or motivation.
5. Break Down Chores into Smaller Chunks
Big chores can feel overwhelming for your child. For instance, the task of "cleaning the room" can seem so vague and laborious, causing anxiety and leading to procrastination. This chore can be broken down into smaller, more manageable tasks to reduce the perceived difficulty. Breaking down cleaning into individual steps like putting away toys, making the bed, dusting surfaces, and vacuuming can make the overall task feel less daunting.
6. Provide Motivation
Offering rewards for difficult tasks gives kids a dopamine rush, which can boost their motivation and even make tasks more enjoyable. Providing incentives like allowance bonuses or other tangible rewards can effectively motivate them and keep their interest in doing a great job.
If you’re interested in learning more strategies to encourage your child to do their chores, HabitCoach is here to help!
