How do I help my gifted child improve their social skills?
Do you have a super bright child who struggles to make friends?
Kids who are gifted often struggle with friendships. If they are “twice exceptional” and they have executive function challenges, it can be hard for them to make friends. Social skills require several executive functions (EF), like impulse control, cognitive flexibility, and emotion regulation. Children with ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, and related conditions are more likely to struggle with social interactions because of poor executive functioning.
The good news is that your child can still improve the executive functions related to social skills. An EF coach can provide strategies to address your child’s specific needs while playing to their strengths.
Strategies to improve your child’s social skills
1. Active listening
Explain the importance of active listening, where your child gives their full attention whenever someone else talks to them. Teach them to listen not just to the words but also to the tone and emotion behind what’s being said. They can practice summarizing or clarifying key points, paraphrasing to show understanding, or reflecting on the speaker’s emotions. For example, saying, “It sounds like you’re really excited about your new project,” demonstrates empathy and attentiveness. These techniques can help your child improve their connection with others in conversations.
2. Emotional regulation techniques
Social interactions can be overwhelming for some children, especially during conflict situations. Teaching your child emotional regulation techniques, such as deep breathing, counting to ten, or reframing, can help them manage their feelings during stressful moments. Being emotionally regulated allows them to pause, think, and choose an appropriate response instead of reacting impulsively or defensively.
3. “Read the room”
Help your child learn to recognize and interpret social cues, emotions, and contexts to respond appropriately. This involves understanding body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice, as well as observing group dynamics. For example, if their peers are quietly listening to a teacher, it would be helpful for your child to recognize that it’s not the time to start a casual conversation. Practicing this skill through role-play or discussing real-life scenarios can give your child valuable insight into adapting their behavior to different situations.
4. Managing the Impulse to Interrupt
Interrupting is a common challenge, especially for children with ADHD or other executive function difficulties. Teach your child to pause before speaking, identify natural conversation breaks, and express their thoughts in alternative ways, such as jotting them down. Practice this skill at home by modeling patience during conversations and gently reminding them to wait their turn. Over time, they’ll develop greater self-awareness and impulse control, which can lead to smoother and more positive interactions.
5. Encourage empathy
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Help your child consider how others might be feeling in different situations. Ask questions like, “How do you think your friend felt when you shared your toy?” or “Why do you think your classmate seemed upset today?” This practice helps them develop perspective-taking skills vital for building meaningful relationships and resolving conflicts.
How can HabitCoach help?
HabitCoach supports children in improving social skills by addressing executive function challenges such as impulse control, emotional regulation, and active listening. Through personalized coaching, children learn practical strategies to manage their emotions, interpret social cues, and engage more effectively in conversations.