Question:

My 8-year-old boy-girl twins get into big fights almost every day. My daughter is a bit of a know-it-all and my son with ADHD does not like getting bossed around by his twin sister. Help!

Coach Jon’s Answer - We have some twin parents here at HabitCoach, so we asked for their input into this answer. Sibling rivalry can be strong with some twins but other twins are each other’s best friends. We wish there was a magic pill to prevent siblings from fighting with each other but sadly that doesn’t exist (yet). One of the hardest things for parents of younger kids to realize is that relationships change over time. Many twins grow closer as they get older and have more shared experiences and are able to regulate their emotions better. That being said, this is one of those “talk and talk and talk” parenting situations - the idea here is to get one twin to learn to put themselves into the shoes of the other twin. You want your daughter to learn that it may be harder for your son to do some things like get ready for school than it is for her. And you want your son to realize how some of his actions may affect his sister. The change will be slow so you need to be really patient. Some of the work will be done by them without input from you. It is okay to draw some lines like “no physical violence.” You should also give them lots of positive reinforcement during the times they are getting along well. Good luck on this one. And be patient.

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