My 10-year-old has one simple chore - set the table before dinner. But I can’t get her to do it on a consistent basis. What am I doing wrong?

Coach Jon’s Answer: Let’s start with what you are doing right. You are giving your child chores - that is a great way to build executive function and a sense of contributing to the family. You are also doing a great job of keeping the chores routine simple and consistent. If you can’t keep track of when your child has to do which chores, they won’t get into a routine. Habits like setting the table take time and effort to build. For a great read on habit building, we suggest Atomic Habits by James Clear. His techniques like making habits obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying apply to kids as well as adults.

If your child has ADHD, they may not be hearing you when you are talking to them. Yelling from your living room into a child’s bedroom, “set the table now…” probably isn’t going to work. You are probably competing with texting or YouTube or video games, so make sure you have your child’s attention before you remind them to do their chores. Rewards for getting chores done consistently can help for some kids. Finally, just keep at it. If you are firm that this is your child’s responsibility, eventually they will do it without your asking and it will make them feel good about themselves and make your life easier.